The Spanish Dancer

It seems like forever since I have sat down at my computer (or my iPad) and written on this Blog.  To my regular readers I'm sorry.  To begin with I guess things just seemed to be sailing along so nicely that I almost forgot about writing.  Or at other times I think just keeping up with everything meant that I was wasn't devoting that 30 minutes or so most days to writing.  

However in August it became apparent to me that all wasn't well with me.  For someone who's always been well, and the only 2 times I've been in hospital was for the birth of my two children, this came as a bit of a shock.  But then I guess "The Spanish Dancer", or "The Big C", or pure and simply cancer, is always going to be a shock.  I think it's one of life's real cruelties that a girl had to get cancer to get loads and loads of really beautiful and cool flowers. I won't go in to too many details here, but suffice to say that I have been extremely fortunate to be very good friends with certain people, because one of them absolutely saved my life.  He's an esteemed surgeon and specialist, and is absolute leader in his field.  He made the scary seem less so and told me he would fix me, and he has. 

In September I was suddenly on the operating table undergoing a fairly major operation.  We hoped that radiation wouldn't be necessary because they said it would suck and be terrible.  In the end though they thought, despite the fact that the pathology results were good, that the safest thing to do was the radiation, because sometimes if you don't treat it right the 1st time you don't get a 2nd chance at it.

I managed to do my annual stud trip to Arrowfield Stud.  I was so pleased to make it there although to tell the truth 5 days before the 2 of us left for Scone I was wondering desperately how the hell I was going to pull it off.

On my return it was more and more medical appointments.  It has to be said that finding cool horse establishments is a lot more fun than finding hospitals and medical centres.  To this day I keep trying to tell myself that it was a hayseed and tried not to look at the words "Monash Cancer Centre" on the promiment sign outside the hospital everytime we drove up there.  Cancer sounds so serious.

Radiation started on 13 October and I've only just finished it.  They said it would mess me up and they were certainly right about that.  However I did manage to avoid their worst case scenario which was losing so much weight that they placed me on a feeding tube.  There was a few times when I thought I would have to give in, but sheer bloody minded determination counts for something at times I guess, despite the fact that my already slim build dwindled aware alarmingly in front of everyone.  My bottom is nowhere near the size of Brazil now.  It is teeny tiny.  I will be very pleased when I begin feeling better.

As a side, tonight is the 24th of November and it is my son's 13th birthday today.  I was so happy that radiation had finished.  I still felt hopelessly disorganised and like I hadn't done my usual job in making his birthday lovely.  However we managed to get out to the shops today.  I am still not driving, so I'm grateful to have someone so fabulous who cares for me so well.  He never looks angry at me, encourages me when he has to, and equally chastises me very gently when he knows I have tried to tackle too much.  We had bigger plans for this Spring Carnival but in the end what we managed to achieve was pretty impressive we thought, under the circumstances.  As usual my family were amazing and they did so much to help us.  My clients and friends have been so loyal and kind and concerned for me.  Although they have occasionally chastised me for being on track.  I really wanted to go though.  It made me feel like me again!  Despite their occasional anxiety over the past 3 months my kids feel calm and settled and once I begin feeling better I'm sure that life is going to be pretty good for us here in our cozy little part of the world.  

This is just a start of what we have achieved this spring.  It gives me more reason to keep writing doesn't it if I do it in little bits.

Vale Street Cry.  A final portrait taken 23 August 2014

The champion So You Think.  It was wonderful to see him properly again.

All Too Hard

"my boy" - More Than Ready

Pluck grows more and more like his sire every year

My 'new boy' - Dundeel - champion racehorse and now resident stallion at Arrowfield Stud, who incidentally sent me the most beautiful bunch of yellow flowers the day of my operation.  Meeting and becoming friends with his owners and breeders was a special thing this spring.